Message Board
| Message Board > Malarkey > story topic |
| March 12, 2006, 21:14 | |
|
Rhovanion
Exterminated 666 posts |
This is a story spawned from my pure imagination: I woke up, terrified, sweating and panting, trying to catch my breath. My eyes were spread wide open, so were my legs. I noticed my wife, sleeping next to me. I couldn't remember what the dream was about but since there was shit all over the place, it must have been scary. I managed to clean the bed without my wife noticing it. When she woke up she asked me if I needed some breakfast while she was holding a cheeseburger in her hand. I kindly said "no", put off my clothes, took my tricycle and went to work. When I got there I noticed the whole company was gone. It seems I was looking the wrong direction because it was right behind me. I entered and found my cock. It looked at me and made a funny sound. So I lifted it and put it back with the chickens where it belonged. I grabbed an egg while I was there anyway. I baked it in my office and ate it before my boss could notice. He smelled some of the burning shit that was still on the egg. I laughed to my boss and said I ate it before there was a chick inside. It would have been worse than Britney Spears so we must all rejoice. He got away with it (the chick and my story) and then died. Then I died too. Then I stopped writing because dead people can't write stories. THE END Now you all write stories. Requirements: at least 10 lines. And told from the first person. ____________ |
| # | |
| March 12, 2006, 21:23 | |
|
Deadmaster
Where is Johnny? 458 posts |
I suddenly appeared in a land where programming was law and Dr Pepper rained from the skies. My name suddenly became "Frank O frimmy BO BO". Then, deadmaster turned up, and yelled "O NOES SCARYMOSTER!". "Scarymoster EAT faec!!" yelled scarymoster. Then, a dildo smurf turned up. He lowered his head and in a 8-bit hum, started his vibrator. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. His army of marching dildos appeared behind him, ready to crush whoever stood in the way. But then, Chuck Norris turned up, and thrust at the dildo smurf, who exploded, because Chuck Norris is just amazing like that. He called to the sky, shouting in a manly roar, "AGRAAAAH, THIS STORY SUCKS. IT IS MADE OF FAIL AND AIDS." The story spontanously combusted, and all was left was a slightly confused looking PEtar, who was promptly eaten by a suddenly appearing boredomejirra, to the tune of The Dresden Dolls. While the KGB danced. In a pink tutu. And pantyhose. FINLANDERS ADVANCE [edit] Rarr, it was 10 lines in the post box ¬¬ [Edited on March 12, 2006 by Deadmaster] ____________ My site still needs updating and redesigning. My last.fm page. GO TO TEXTUAL ANARCHY II YOU FISHDOG YOU |
| # | |
| March 13, 2006, 09:40 | |
|
Woody
HEAD BLACK MAN 722 posts 
|
"Wilbur, this hinge tastes suspiciously like butter," the elephant said. I stared. For some reason my mind was stuck on the first word. Wilbur. Not the hinge part, or said hinge's butter content, or the fact that an elephant was questioning me about it, but the name. That wasn't my name. I opened my mouth to tell the elephant of his misnomer, but then hesitated. What was my name? Fucking mental block. It'd come to me eventually. I looked around, and for the first time noticed that I was in some kind of arena. Like the Colosseum. Except... purple. It wasn't the light - from the looks of it, it was midday - but someone had painted the entire place in a lurid magenta. The stands were packed with spectators with big yellow foam hands pointing at the sky. They were chanting and screaming words... no, just one word... something... something about boredom? A wisp of acrid smoke floated around me, and I looked behind me to the center of the arena. A huge bonfire burned there in a shallow pit set into the dusty ground. Littered around it was some disturbingly skeletal wood. The chanting of the audience increased in volume. I was beginning to feel uneasy. "Wilbur?" the elephant asked. I blinked. "What?" "I told you not to bite the moose," the elephant said, and charged. ____________ boredome is the bitter fruit of too much routine |
| # | |
| March 13, 2006, 09:40 | |
|
Woody
HEAD BLACK MAN 722 posts
|
INSPIRED BY FEERAT
____________ boredome is the bitter fruit of too much routine |
| # | |
| March 13, 2006, 17:22 | |
|
Deadmaster
Where is Johnny? 458 posts |
That was immense.
____________ My site still needs updating and redesigning. My last.fm page. GO TO TEXTUAL ANARCHY II YOU FISHDOG YOU |
| # | |
Message Board > Malarkey > story topic