Message Board
| Message Board > Malarkey > English motherfucker, do you speak it? |
| January 18, 2012, 11:07 | |
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Zomg
None 641 posts |
Yeah. I have to study for English 201. Here's part of what we're taught: http://www.englishclub.com/spe … on-starters.htm Do you think that people actually say this kind of bullshit in real life? I find it too general.. too unrealistic. Sounds like some boring corporate pig wrote it. :') ____________ |
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| January 18, 2012, 14:52 | |
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DTM
Earthling! 821 posts 
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I think that should be called American 201. Generally I find simple grunts suffice in most situations. And pointing. ____________ :o |
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| January 19, 2012, 08:39 | |
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Dennis
どこかにいる 2092 posts 
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It seems that many people alive today possess some Neanderthal ancestry, like DTM.
____________ Kwakkel |
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| January 19, 2012, 09:50 | |
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Dennis
どこかにいる 2092 posts
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Answers to the list: Beautiful day, isn't it? > It fucking sucks, you cunt. It rains! Can you believe all of this rain we've been having? > Then why call it a beautiful day, you stupid TWAT. It looks like it's going to snow. > Make up your mind already! It sure would be nice to be in Hawaii right about now. > It would be nice to send you to Hawaii right about now! I hear they're calling for thunderstorms all weekend. > You hear? Buy a television already! We couldn't ask for a nicer day, could we? > Hahaha, yeah. I love your sarcasm! How about this weather? > OMG!! How did you just do that? Amazing! O.O Did you order this sunshine? > No, I ordered beef. Talking about current events Did you catch the news today? > Yeah, my mom dropped the newspaper. Did you hear about that fire on Fourth St? > Yeah, stupid campers! What do you think about this transit strike? > I think it's amazing... WHAT DO YOU THINK? I read in the paper today that the Sears Mall is closing. > Nownow, that's GOOD news honey. I heard on the radio today that they are finally going to start building the new bridge. > But the old one isn't even finished! What is this? Fucking Belgium? How about those Reds? Do you think they're going to win tonight? > I sure hope not. I have always hated communists. At the office Looking forward to the weekend? > N...No... of course not, boss! Hahaha! Have you worked here long? > Nope... I sit here for 10 years but only worked a week or so. I'm a civil servant. I can't believe how busy/quiet we are today, can you? > Make up your mind, whore. Has it been a long week? > The same as last week: 7 DAYS You look like you could use a cup of coffee. > You look like you could use a cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP! What do you think of the new computers? > They are the old ones. The new computers are in your pants. At a social event So, how do you know Justin? > From my daughter's wwallpaper Have you tried the cabbage rolls that Sandy made? > Yeah. They are totally SHIT. I just saved your life. They taste like sand. Are you enjoying yourself? > MOM!!! WHY?!! Don't enter my ROOM without knocking. :'( It looks like you could use another drink. > Z...than..kS you look like you my best friend *hiccup* yeah best friedzz zhere z to best vriends! AHHAAY! Pretty nice place, huh? > huh? What? I dozed off I love your dress. Can I ask where you got it? > Everyone wears them here in Edinburgh. Out for a walk How old's your baby? > Don't worry she's 18+ What's your puppy's name? > Hi, his name is... WHY, BETTERFOOD STOP SHITTING ON THAT MISTER'S SHOE! BAD DOG! The tulips are sure beautiful at this time of year, aren't they. > Hey! Listen to me! What is this? You! Listen! What is this? Fucking Holland? Is that what this is? I'm Al Pacino. Good night everyone! How do you like the new park? > Nice place to have sex in public. Like, everyone in England does. it Nice day to be outside, isn't it? > Tell that to my REFRIDGERATOR! HAHAHA! Waiting somewhere I didn't think it would be so busy today. > I just don't like you. You look like you've got your hands full (with children or goods). > FOR THE TENTH TIME! CAN YOU LEND ME A HAND??!! The bus must be running late today. > They removed the wheels. It now has legs. And it's going to hunt us! It looks like we are going to be here a while, huh? > Yeah... you single?  I'll have to remember not to come here on Mondays. > But Horace, this is your job! How long have you been waiting? > Longer than you! ____________ Kwakkel |
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| January 19, 2012, 23:44 | |
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Zomg
None 641 posts |
DTM: Rhô! Lmao. Like in Civilization III. I'm going to play that game again soon. It's so funny when the Barbarian tribe goes 'Rhô!'. =D Dennis: It sure would be nice to be in Hawaii right about now. > It would be nice to send you to Hawaii right about now! LMAO I hear they're calling for thunderstorms all weekend. > You hear? Buy a television already! LLOLOLOOLO How about this weather? > OMG!! How did you just do that? Amazing! O.O ROALARLOARLOARLORLORLOFLOFRLO.. ok well, Dennis, you are funny. =P Dennis' writings just made my day. I cried out in laughter. =P OMG LMAO AMROMAOAROMAR _breaks table laughing_ Did you order this sunshine? > No, I ordered beef. [Edited on January 19, 2012 by Zomg] ____________ |
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| January 20, 2012, 08:47 | |
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Zomg
None 641 posts |
No offense Dennis, it was funny and all, but one of the biggest reasons there are 3000 suicides per year in Belgium is because of how Belgians talk the way you just illustrated there. They are not honest to each other and all they can do is blurt out sarcasm. I know you may be mad for this, but it's the truth. Belgians act very fake towards each other. I haven't had a single day in this country where people were honest (except some (you know who)). But yeah. Italy is completely the opposite. People are nice and genuine to each other. The more North ways you go into Europe, the more frigid the people. Call me judging, but this is actually a fact. My English professor could confirm this when he went to Finland to give a presentation. The audience was as dead as a bunch of flour bags. No reactions. No facial expressions. You know where they were active? On THE FUCKING FORUMS AND TWITTER! Cold, cold people. Warm, nice people: Spain, Portugal, Italy. Cold, sarcastic, suicidal people: Finland, Denmark, Belgium. >_> If you don't think Belgium has frigid people, then tell us why. I certainly read online of many people visiting Belgium and hating it and its people. [Edited on January 20, 2012 by Zomg] ____________ |
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| January 20, 2012, 14:03 | |
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(. )( .)
top pussy 447 posts 
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Quoting Zomg: My English professor could confirm this when he went to Finland to give a presentation. The audience was as dead as a bunch of flour bags. No reactions. No facial expressions. First of all, it's impolite to stop someone when he's speaking infront of an audience. Secondly, your professors jokes sucked. Thirdly, I think your professor's presentation was shit and he's also a cunt. Quoting Zomg: Warm, nice people: Spain, Portugal, Italy. Cold, sarcastic, suicidal people: Finland, Denmark, Belgium. I'll take your word on these. Now, how do Spain, Portugal and Italy compare to Finland, Denmark and Belgium(...?) as countries? The places with these warm people have a higher difference between the poor and the wealthy. Basic social services and looking after the less fortunate is worse in those places with warm people. Crime rates, violence and safety is a concern with warm people around you. This all seems logical. How you interprete and interact with people is all about culture. Don't kiss strangers. Unless they're drunk and got boobs. ____________ gay |
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| January 20, 2012, 22:22 | |
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PB
Defender of the faith 630 posts 
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Quoting Futgiz: First of all, it's impolite to stop someone when he's speaking infront of an audience. Secondly, your professors jokes sucked. Thirdly, I think your professor's presentation was shit and he's also a cunt. I prefer not to reply with a simple "lol", but you know what I mean... LOL [Edited on January 20, 2012 by PB] ____________ |
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| January 23, 2012, 09:57 | |
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Dennis
どこかにいる 2092 posts
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Despite the fact bluntly saying that people from a certain nation are cold and heartless is quite dangerous because you are generalizing and thus insulting both the people who are actually warm and friendly as the people who aren't, and it is quite unfair to do so... I don't know how to say in English but in Dutch they say something like "shave all people over the same comb" and also, you reap what you sow, so I if you sow hatred, you'll also reap hatred. So when many people hate you, consider the fact that maybe one of the actions may be hateful. Consider someone telling you that you are a cold heartless prick, well it would piss me off, you? One thing is true about it. If I simply compare Dutch people to Belgian people. Dutch people more often say what they feel, and express how they feel in the way "klinkt het niet, dan botst het maar". For example, when soemone's...err zipper is open, a dutch person would bluntly say "hey your zipper is open". The other person will say "oh thanks! * zip*" Belgians are more like... "Err, umm excuse me but err... aahhh.. I should go the toilet. Don't you guys need to go to the toilet "wink wink"" and behind the corner, when the person with the opened zipper thinks the belgian was awfully polite, he'll ROFLMAO. It's not as bad as Chinese people who need a superior to allow them to say "I understand", even if they don't get shit of what you just said. Weird. ____________ Kwakkel |
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| January 24, 2012, 22:22 | |
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PB
Defender of the faith 630 posts
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At my previous company we worked together a lot with people from India, where this culture difference was verry apparent. Indian people say yes to everything and think verry hierarchically, while the Dutch managers would just say "this is wrong, that is wrong. Could you fix this and that?" "yes sir! yes sir!". Anyway I like the Dutch straightforward way of communicating. But I'm Dutch so I'm biassed in this... ____________ |
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| January 25, 2012, 11:35 | |
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Dennis
どこかにいる 2092 posts
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India and China are quite compatible it seems.
____________ Kwakkel |
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| April 17, 2012, 12:20 | |
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Mezzmer
Square-theorist 792 posts 
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I like lesbians of any kind
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| April 26, 2012, 12:29 | |
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Dennis
どこかにいる 2092 posts
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How many kinds exist?
____________ Kwakkel |
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| April 28, 2012, 12:19 | |
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Zomg
None 641 posts |
White lesbian, black lesbian, Asian lesbian, .. 
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Message Board > Malarkey > English motherfucker, do you speak it?